Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
not ubering you a puppy
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
