i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
