Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
