he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
