No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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