and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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