You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
