You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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