Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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