I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
