I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
