my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I forget how to act sober
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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