I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
