If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
