sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
