Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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