Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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