then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
