My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
