You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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