found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize