I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize