Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
