Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
