I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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