so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
