dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
