i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
