It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
