If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
