Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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