Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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