I accidentally burped into my bong.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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