It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize