chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
