I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
