Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My balls are so social today.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize