go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
