I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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