Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize