Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
