doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
