Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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