I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
