Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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