he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize