Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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