Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
