So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
