When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
