If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
