can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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