You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i came on her dog
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I am one with the molecules
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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