Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
