She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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