please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
