What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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