he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
