my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
