I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
40s are totally the cure
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
