my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
