my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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