I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize