I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
