Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
