I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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