The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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